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At higher speeds on fissured roads, the Corsa feels impressively confident: thank the trick new dampers for that. Unlike the Astra VXR, which employs electronic FlexRide active damping system, little brother Corsa has dampers that vary mechanically rather than electronically.
There's an extra valve in the damper housing that opens when things get overly busy and bumpy. This means that when you're going round town at normal speeds, the ride is seriously firm, which can get quite tiresome quite quickly. But going quicker on bumpy roads opens the valves, softening off the ride without compromising body control.
It works well. It simply grips, fiercely. But any feedback trying to telegraph itself form the front-driven wheels is lost in the plump, squidgy flat-bottom steering wheel, so you've just got to grit your teeth and trust that magic diff. This requires some cohones, as the diff is less vigorous off-throttle. If you're in trouble, boot it, let the supportive hard-shell Recaros clasp you while the diff's witchcraft and apex magnetism sees you round the bend.
However, boggo-for-boggo, the Fiesta ST is cheaper. Against the Corsa's jiggly ride, the Fiesta's poise means it'll be easier to live with day-to-day, offering up its driving kicks without the need to wring its neck out.
The Corsa offers up something different. It'll excite a keen driver when they're really on it more than the Ford, but it doesn't do the the whole only-car-you-need thing with the same award-winning aplomb. With the Renaultsport Clio going soft, that end of the hot hatch spectrum now Vauxhall's for the taking Rowan Horncastle.
A car as cool as ice. Corsa VXR. One of the biggest Vauxhall sellers, Corsa VXR had 5 generations of high performance, pulse-quickening vehicles. Corsa VXR Clubsport. Corsa VXR Blue. This Corsa VXR came in no other colour but blue. I dug out my notes from when I first drove it 12 years ago, and what I said then still holds true today. Acceleration is devastating, the chassis balance is just gorgeous and the steering feels like it was engineered by God.
From flyweight floorer to heavyweight slugger — the Monaro VXR is a proper hairy-chested bruiser. And boy, it feels big both in size and character. The result is the same rocket-launch acceleration as the Lotus Carlton. Squeeze that accelerator, hear the supercharger whine and the big V8 bellow, feel the back end squirm and watch far away traffic suddenly loom large. A very different type of VXR, but still fast and loud and charismatic. The last car in my VXR history lesson was the one I was least keen to drive.
Wideboy white paintob, shonky chequered flag graphics and white wheels… I mean, pass the mullet. What a blinder this car is! Twitchy, almost nervous steering, heroic brakes, incredible BTCC soundtrack from the Remus exhaust, ferocious pace and outstanding body control — this car feels Styrofoam light and bristles with intent. Getting back into The Shrek at the end of the day left me feeling down in the mouth.
Yes, the Corsa wears the VXR badge, but it has some big tyre tracks to follow. With its 1. That postage stamp-sized nav screen is complemented by a centre console blunderbussed with dozens of buttons. Someone was obviously feeling uncharacteristically understated at Vauxhall Towers when they decided on naming the Performance Pack. Thing is, for all its stiffness and rigidity the Ford concedes no ground to the Vauxhall when it comes to body control and dynamic talent.
It may be softer but it feels so much more composed and biddable than the Vauxhall. At pace it flows and breathes along the roads, hanging on through tight corners with serious tenacity as its clever torque vectoring electronics keep you from interfacing with the scenery.
It also possesses that sparky wrist-flick agility to quickly and cleanly change direction whenever you tweak the quick-witted and feelsome steering wheel. Satiny smooth, addicted to its modest redline and blessed with delightfully linear and lag-free shove, its exuberance and enthusiasm define the ST. It sounds superb, too.
Its soundtrack fills the cabin under acceleration and on the over-run. I loved it, and getting back into the Corsa and hearing its coarse, characterless engine range from droning idle to raucous redline was a real downer.
So, not quite a Luton rout. The Corsa beats the Fiesta for outright punch, cornering antics with its trick front diff, pause-button brakes and fine cabin ergonomics.
But on the intangibles — the feel-good factor, the tail-up character and the fizzy effervescence — the ST leaves the VXR feeling dull, drab and, I hate to say it, ordinary.
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