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While on that note, I wonder why society is so lax when it comes to sharing sexual partners. But anyway, let us leave that topic for another day. The most annoying thing about sharing is that it does not conform to human nature. Humans are so different in just about every way imaginable and we all have different ways in which we prefer to do things. Interestingly, with regards to food, some hold the plate close to the chest, others on their laps while some just prefer to keep it on the table.
I once shared a house with a friend for two years. As a student, and always looking to save money, I also lived with two other students in a three bed-roomed house. I must say I will never put myself in the same situation again. The only things that I shared in that house were the kitchen, living room and bathroom. The annoying thing about sharing is, however much you try to maintain your privacy, some nosy housemate almost always finding a way of invading your space and fooling around with your stuff.
And what of the ones who rearrange your bedroom and trinkets in a neat way that makes it hard for you find any of your things? Some people are impossible. Sharing has its pros and cons. Other people condone and tolerate sharing because they have no better options, while others do it even if they have choices.
As a child, I used to share a lot of stuff with my younger sister. We would share a pen and use it interchangeably. But today things are different, we are grownups. When children witness the suffering of their mother at the hands of their father, it damages their relationship with him and pulls them into a parent-like role where they adopt an incongruous amount of responsibility to protect the vulnerable adults in their world.
Romanoff explains how conflict in your relationship with your father can affect your mental health and your relationships with others. Children who experience strong negative feelings toward their fathers tend to have trouble in their attachment to others as adults. Conflict in the relationship with their father in childhood creates deep-rooted feelings of mistrust. This can lead to hesitation in getting closer to others due to the anticipation of hurt associated with intimacy.
When parents act in unpredictable ways or abuse their children, their children grow up to have difficulty understanding their emotions and the feelings of others. This limits their ability to build stable and close relationships. Ultimately, they may struggle to connect with others, avoid intimacy , or be highly anxious in relationships.
Recognize the ways in which your father impacted you and how that may alter your relationship with men or romantic partners. This is referred to as an attraction of deprivation, as these individuals will seek out partners who are unsatisfying or disappointing in ways that are familiar to them, and believe that they will finally get their unmet needs from childhood met in the present through a corrective emotional experience.
Typically, there is a fallacy to this type of thinking as these partners rarely change. It is important to recognize the enduring impact our relationships with caregivers have on current functioning.
Therapy can be a great tool to not only recognize and identify this influence, but also interrupt the maladaptive patterns that are extensions from this primary relationship. Most of our pain comes from distorting the reality of people to fit our desires for who we need them to be. Once you can separate fantasy from reality, you free yourself from perpetual disappointment and can live a more stable and consistent life without the ups and downs of intermittently viewing him through the lens of fantasy and reality.
There are many reasons why you might grow to hate your father. Childhood conflicts with your father can cause you to develop feelings of hate that may accompany you well into adulthood. Struggling with stress? Our guide offers expert advice on how to better manage stress levels. Get it FREE when you sign up for our newsletter. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page.
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